Saturday Viewing Guide

Last week's recommendations for how to block out your viewing time was such a big hit that Homerism has decided to make it a weekly special. Don't forget that Homerism is here for you, the fan. (All times EST.)

Before noon: Black Knight (FX, 10:30 am)

Skip GameDay again this week. The "Collision in the Coliseum" hullabaloo should be disgusting. What better way to kick off your day than a Martin Lawrence flick! In this 2001 hit comedy, Lawrence plays a Los Angeles underachiever who time-travels back to 14th-century England to battle an evil king. Marsha Thomason co-stars.

-Alternative: Bird on a Wire (HBO-W, 9:15 am)

If it's action comedy with star power and snappy dialogue that you desire, switch over to HBO-W at 9:15. Bird on a Wire stars Mel Gibson as an ex-hippie FBI cooperator in witness protection forced on the lamb because David Carradine and Bill Duke want to kill him. (I can't remember why.) Goldie Hawn plays Gibson's former lover--presumably estranged because of the whole witness protection thing--who somehow gets mixed up in things. Listen for Aaron Neville's enchanting title theme.

Noon to 12:30pm: Cal at Maryland
The early stages of this game should be pretty interesting, given the especially early kickoff for Cal. As bad as Maryland has looked so far, this certainly has upset potential.
-Alternative: Iowa State @ Iowa
This in-state rivalry could get nasty. Are the Cyclones showing any progress under Gene Chizik?

12:30pm to 3:30pm: Nevada at Missouri
Click over here if you like offense. Mizzou's offensive proficiency has been well publicized, but Nevada can move the ball using Chris Ault's Pistol scheme. Homerism couldn't watch Nevada-Texas Tech, but the Wolf Pack apparently had their fair share of success scoring on the Red Raiders. Mizzou's D had a hard time stopping Juice Williams and the Illini, so this might offer some insight as to whether or not that was an aberration.
-Alternative: Stick with Cal-Maryland if it's competitive.

3:30pm to 7pm: Georgia at South Carolina
Is Steve Spurrier headed for greener pastures? Has Georgia made the leap? Stories abound here. This is a revenge game for the Bulldogs after dropping last year's game in Athens to the Gamecocks. Georgia comes in as a touchdown favorite, but S. Carolina always seems to play Mark Richt's team tough. A loss here would mean Georgia is the first of the major contenders to fall.
-Alternative: Nevada-Mizzou if it's somehow close.
-Alternative to the Alternative: Michigan-Notre Dame.

If you're feeling like you need to rest up for the evening's slate, check out Michigan-Notre Dame. This one is perfect to fall asleep to. Count on a battle of field position in this one. Homerism's actually starting to feel a comfortable Irish victory here. So I guess Weis has that going for him.

7:45pm to 11:15pm: Oklahoma at Washington
OK, this is obviously the Homerism pick. There's no reason for the general college football fan to pick this one over Ohio St.-USC. Either drag a second TV into the room so you can watch both at the same time, or hit the local sports bar least likely to have tons of Trojan or Buckeye fans in the house. At least there's a great plan B if either game gets out of hand.
-Alternative: Ohio St.-USC.

11:30 pm on: Wisconsin at Fresno St.
Join this one in progress. Everyone and their mom seems to think Pat Hill's wild bunch will get the scrappy upset win over the Badgers. Granted, the idea of spending a Saturday night in Fresno certainly seems distasteful. Wisconsin, however, has been hearing since the summer about how tough the Fresno trip will be. Homerism suspects the Bulldogs have been over-inflated as upstarts in this game.

-Alternative: Michael Phelps hosts the season premiere of Saturday Night Live.